Where's my treat?
A couple of days ago, I removed the broken dishwasher in a hurry. My sciatica was already enraged. Then, dealing with the dishwasher further triggered my body’s anger. Finally, I decided I would help myself by doing some yoga: you know, to help it. Motion is lotion, I told myself.
So, last night, I paid the price.
The pain madde it seem I’d never get to sleep.
It’s not going to get better.
This morning, my dog was looking for her treat holder. She couldn’t find it anywhere. No wonder! She expects it to be on the floor. That’s where she always finds it.
It wasn’t out of sight. It was out of mind. It was above floor level, out of it’s usual expected location, and slightly out of sight.
I’m not going to find it.
A game I played years ago, Myst was filled with brilliant puzzles. While a lot of people bought it because it was famed for it’s beauty and puzzles, unless you had a patient mind, you’d get frustrated. The puzzles were just too hard for most people. So, despite it being an artistic tour de force, it didn’t sell nearly as many copies as it might have. You just gave up, beauty or not.
I can’t figure it out.
Sometimes, it’s hard to see a way forward. This is epidemic for teens right now. They are giving up at high rates.
I can have what I want right now, is the new life axiom. There’s very little sense that things will come tomorrow or next week. We don’t need to be patient. We don’t trust the future. We don’t have to look for it (out of it’s usual place) or wait for it (longer than we want).
(Spoiler Alert) - It’s not a big spoiler but if you haven’t seen the Academy-award winning movie Shadowlands, go watch it and then come back. Otherwise, proceed.
Shadowlands, tells the too-short story of C.S. Lewis love for Joy Davidman. Lewis, near the end of his life, finds what he longed for all along. Was it worth it? At the end of the movie, Lewis - through tears - tells Davidman’s son,
Why love if losing hurts so much?
I have no answers any more.
Only the life I’ve lived.
Twice in that life I’ve been given the choice
As a boy and as a man.
The boy chose safety.
The man chooses suffering.
The pain now, is part of the suffering then.
That’s the deal…
There is wisdom in patience, in holding on, in perseverance. What we want won’t always be in the same place, where we want it, nor when we want it. Keep looking. Keep searching.