Replay Versus Reality
When Referees Can Hit Rewind
Though I’ve never been much interested in sports, I recollect the early days of instant replay. When a disputed play occurred, referees could review what happened and, sometimes, revise a call.
Was there a foul? Did the basketball shot leave the air in time to be counted? Did the baseball player’s foot actually touch home plate?
Instead of debating it in circles, instant replay offered something unprecedented: the option of seeing what really happened. Sports teams felt certain that calls of all kinds could be fairly reviewed. Initial referee decisions could be changed. At last, we’d have proof about who was right.
Or could we?
Even now, instant replay in all its variations remains challenged in sports, business, legal matters, and criminal justice. It can’t tell us everything about an event. Life is filled with too many variables.
The Chatter in Our Heads
The problem is that our minds are filled with endless instant replays. Sometimes, we don’t even complete one replay before the next one begins! The noise in our heads is constant.
- Why did my spouse say that?
- Was my hair okay?
- I didn’t get the credit I deserved.
- My boss didn’t see how she provoked me.
- I didn’t mean to get so angry.
- That wasn’t fair.
- They started it.
We become the referees of our own lives, endlessly reviewing footage that no camera captured, judging plays that can’t be unmade.
The Problem With Seeking Certainty
Some sports have, at times, opted to say: Hey, life is filled with mistakes and errors. We need to accept these things. Let the ref’s first call stand.
It’s true—instant replay might have some use in helping us review opportunities and learn from missteps. But, as some observers have noted, the continual search for the truth or proof or even certainty often distracts us from actually playing the game—especially if the game we’re playing involves our ego.
If we’re playing back the long litany of thoughts, opinions, judgments, and blah-blah-blah in hopes of propping up our self-esteem, we lose what is most valuable in life: being inside of what is right in front of us.
Living, Not Simulating
The goal is not to live in a simulation—a replay—of what we have, what we are, or what we hope to experience.
The goal is to be alive in this moment, experiencing the active stream of variables coming toward, through, and around us. We see what is here. We touch it as best we can. We feel all of it. We must live it.
Knowing we will make mistakes.
On seeing our mistakes, we own them. No, we cannot relive them. We can only try and do better next time.
We are alive only to the extent that we’re experiencing. Instant replay is often a detour from the lived moment. It easily becomes the default.
Watch the game, not the replay.